'I couldn't help but laugh': Spouse shares the bizarre habits of clueless husband

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
May 31, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

Things that you may think are common sense are also the things that some people have never heard of before. It's always a glorious moment of hilarity when you watch a full-grown adult learn something really basic for the first time. It's even funnier when that person is your friend, and you can make fun of them about it for eternity. 

This person's husband is a bit of a "golden retriever spouse." It's like he's the human equivalent of that type of pup: sweet, loving, caring, and only possessing a handful of brain cells. He means well, but he's always goofing things up. For example, he's only learned recently that he can't just chew every vitamin he eats. Sadly, in adulthood, gummy vitamins or Flintstones-shaped vitamins aren't always available. Sometimes you have to take a pill (not fun) instead of chewing a sour gummy vitamin (fun and delicious) …sad. 

At least his spouse sees the humor in these situations: u/WagWoofLove shared the story to the r/StoriesAboutKevin subreddit, created just for silly geese like their husband. Commenters loved the story, adding that they, too, have had encounters with golden retriever boyfriends or spouses. 

Next up, read about these people's terrible neighbor situations, like one person who wrote that their "entitled neighbor wasn't happy with my parking job, so they blocked me in." 

Advertisement
  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 9929607936
    via Stefen Tan on Unsplash
  • 02
    I married a Kevin who chews up non-chewable vitamins, among his many other Kevinisms. I have considered whether I married a Kevin. He has done things in the past that made me wonder. I was told when he was a boy that his mom gave him. money to go to the store to buy her a bunch of bananas, as in one bunch. He thinks a BUNCH of bananas. She apparently was
    via u/WagWoofLove
  • 03
    giving bananas away, making banana bread, and banana puddings for quite some time afterwards. When he was learning to drive, his dad told him he was going to be turning right at the next road. It was a red light and he thought "Why should I wait in the line for the light to turn when I can just cut through the median and be on my way?"
    via u/WagWoofLove
  • 04
    Shortly after I married him, I caught him one night with a canister of instant hot chocolate picking things out of it and looking concerned. I asked him what he was doing and he informed me there was dried up corn kernels in our hot chocolate. I went to look for myself. It was the freeze dried marshmallows. When I made my discovery, I asked him why it didn't occur to him that it wasn't it wasn't corn because 1. They were white and
    via u/WagWoofLove
  • 05
    2. They weren't shaped like corn. He said he didn't think marshmallows would look like that. A little later we had a couple cats and a dog. He fed the cats the dog food because we were out of cat food. I guess it didn't matter much because they are similar animals. When I told him I could have bought cat food since I was out, he was then worried he accidentally killed the cats.
    via u/WagWoofLove
  • 06
    Just tonight my poor little Kevin decided he wanted a magnesium supplement for his sore muscles because I take them when my muscles are hurting. He pops it in his mouth and starts munching it down. He grimaces and tells me that it tastes awful. I wasn't paying attention until I heard the sounds of revulsion and look up to see the awful look on his face. I couldn't help but laugh and tell him you're not supposed to chew it! He said "But some of the
    via u/WagWoofLove
  • 07
    vitamins ARE chewable!" Yeah but not all of them lol. A few minutes ago when I was still giggling about it I asked him why he didn't spit it out or at least finish it off by swallowing it with a drink of water. He said he already started it out that way so he might as well finish it that way. My poor little Kevin.
    via u/WagWoofLove
  • 08
    userdoesnotexis... Bless him. The marshmallow corn set me
    via u/userdoesnotexist22
  • 09
    Birdy Devil Oof, I'm impressed at how seriously you've taken your vows and that you've managed to stay married to this man, . Your life must be irritatingly hilarious
    via u/Birdy Devil
  • 10
    now_you_see That last sentence about finishing the way he started got a good laugh out of me. Sounds like he'd at least make your life interesting lol.
    via u/now_you_see
  • 11
    Fluid_Mixture_6... I feel you. As the wife and DIL of Kevins myself, have courage, my friend, they do not get any better.
    via u/Fluid_Mixture_6012
  • 12
    BoopityGoopity How much money did his mom give him for bananas?
    via u/BoopityGoopity
  • 13
    Glop1701d And you married him? ?
    via u/Glop1701d
  • 14
    Mysterious-Regi... I don't hate Kevin, he sounds like the goofy boyfriend I had at one time
    via u/Mysterious-Region640

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

spouse husbands husband hot chocolate dogs marriage funny stories vitamins Cats funny mistakes stories-about-kevin kevin
Scroll Down For The Next Article